Posts Tagged ‘running’

An evening run

Posted: September 15, 2014 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , ,

Past the flights and flights of early autumn leaf-littered concrete steps

beside the overpass

past the tennis racket shop signs,

the exhaust pipe window displays,

and the back-handed glamour of neon;

past the police bending over the intercom

in the shadows of a block of flats

(such as must have known more

in the way of arguments, as those not half an hour’s walk

back towards the city)

I, slowing to a walk on cobblestones, see first

a poster behind an open window

– that is all –

that says I might like to know who lays down their head

and, groping still more,

trying to feel that this way I learn something,

become something,

of this city;

I come upon an open garage

behind an old wire fence

And see first a hand on a table,

think this may be a poker game,

and then a glass of beer,

four men sat around a cluttered garage cum workshop

one, on the left, dimly lit, both in and out in the evening air

sat still in his red boiler suit.

It’s not where I want to be. It’s who.

Thinking, I kill the thought dead.

I stop my audio book and break back into a run,

not now knowing, if I am trying to catch my shadow,

or run away from it,

as now one, now two, now four such

come at me from all angles,

stamping on my feet.

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I’ve lost my routine, and routines are important to me. When I’m between things I am agitated, restless, irritable, broody, and can settle into nothing. Mornings, afternoons and evenings jarringly pass with the motions of a learner’s kangerooing car, shaped by nothing but pacings from one activity to another, none of which lessens the edginess or the urgency of feeling that I need to be doing something else.

Waking this morning I wanted to run. A thermos of green tea by my bed, I drank and read for a while, but, tired from being unable to sleep last night, I found myself flitting from one book to another, and, what was more destabilising, between these and Twitter. I couldn’t find the banana I had put aside for breakfast last night which, silly as it sounds, threw me further. I had intended to read for a while, drink tea, eat breakfast, and, when I was out of tea, get on my running shoes and go for a run. (more…)